Bo Jackson Curse? The Bengals aren’t cursed, they’re simply inept

Bengals owner Mike Brown (c.) is to blame for the Carson Palmer (r.) era and Andy Dalton era.

Bengals proprietor Mike Brown (c.) is responsible for the Carson Palmer (r.) period and Andy Dalton period.
Illustration: Getty Pictures

In my perusal of Wild-Card Weekend storylines to jot down about, I discovered the curse of Bo Jackson significantly fascinating. In the event you’ve by no means heard of Bo Jackson then my god are you younger, however in the event you’ve by no means heard of the Bo Jackson Curse then, like me, you’re new to this borderline contrived curse.

I didn’t know the Cincinnati Bengals hadn’t gained a playoff sport since they ended Bo Jackson’s profession with a normal-looking sort out within the 1991 AFC divisional spherical 31 years in the past, however it is smart. For many of my life — I used to be born in 1986 and have been watching soccer since I can bear in mind — the Bengals have been unhealthy, even once they’ve been good.

That one stretch earlier than Carson Palmer obtained harm, when Chad Johnson hadn’t adopted Ochocinco but, and also you didn’t put “possession” earlier than receiver when speaking about T.J. Houshmandzadeh, was sort of spectacular. (Possession receivers are to huge receivers what sport managers are to quarterbacks.)

The Palmer Period fizzled out although, as did the Andy Dalton-A.J. Inexperienced period, which featured extra playoff appearances (5 to Palmer’s two) but additionally extra playoff losses (5 to Palmer’s two).

I’ve a gentle spot for the Bengals as a result of certainly one of their proficient receivers all the time finally ends up on my fantasy workforce. (Shout out Ja’Marr Chase.) They’ll look good early within the season, however as quickly as you assume they’re a secure wager, they’re down 24 to the Chargers within the first half — and that’s in a very good 12 months.

Proprietor Mike Brown’s insistence on taking part in the Kevin Costner position in his actual life model of Draft Day has led to many missteps, together with draft busts and a penchant for overlooking character flaws. He and Jerry Jones are the one house owners who maintain each proprietor and GM titles, however no less than Jones spends cash. Wait… did I simply praise Jerry Jones? I believe I simply complimented Jerry Jones. You recognize you’re a foul proprietor when Jerry Jones makes you look incompetent.

Houshmandzadeh instructed Colin Cowherd that Brown was so low-cost they didn’t have Gatorade or bottled water when he first began, and that teammates there earlier than him mentioned they had been supplied with solely used jock straps.

This isn’t a curse, it’s a shitty group. It’s like how the curse of the Bambino wasn’t a lot a curse for the Purple Sox because it was a refusal by Boston to signal Black gamers (they had been the final Massive League membership to combine so once they signed Pumpsie Inexperienced in 1959, 12 years after Jackie Robinson). The Cubs blaming a Billy Goat as a result of they had been impossibly inept for a century isn’t a curse. The Bengals blaming a sort out on Bo Jackson as a result of it was the final notable factor they did isn’t a curse.

The Payments dropping four-straight Tremendous Bowls is a curse. The Vikings’ incapability to make large subject objectives even once they have a very good kicker is a curse. The Portland Path Blazers passing on Michael Jordan and Kevin Durant for injury-prone large males and being caught in mediocrity is a curse.

Don’t chalk it as much as a hex when Joe Burrow’s profession will get shortened as a result of the GM/proprietor hasn’t spent cash or draft picks on an offensive line to maintain him from turning into the subsequent Bengals franchise QB ruined by accidents. He already tore his ACL, and the man stays banged up.

Eight playoff appearances (not playoff runs; runs implies you gained a sport) in 31 years and getting outscored 176-90 within the seven video games you’ve performed doesn’t qualify as unfortunate. The closest you bought to a win was A.J. McCarron’s valiant 18-16 loss to the Steelers in 2015.

In the event you’re trying to proper somebody you’ve wronged, begin with Marvin Lewis, not Bo Jackson. Taking a Mike Brown-constructed workforce to the playoffs seven occasions in 15 years is a activity extra worthy of a Corridor-of-Fame plaque than a quasi-retirement consulting gig for Herm Edwards at Arizona State.

That is the Raiders’ second playoff look in practically 20 years, however they rightfully blame their very own dumbass house owners for his or her shortcomings like rational followers. Responsible a curse is to offer Brown a go, and I do know the Bengal trustworthy don’t need to do this.

I’ll be pulling for Burrow, Chase, and my man Zac Taylor (GBR!) to finish the “curse” Saturday, however don’t be shocked if the unhealthy juju persists so long as Brown is the proprietor/GM.

Enjoyable be aware: If you would like one other hyperlink between these two groups, the coach of the Raiders of their final Tremendous Bowl look was Invoice Callahan, who went on to educate Bengals head coach Zac Taylor when he performed QB at Nebraska.

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